“Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you!” – Luke 6:26
Generally, you should consider what others are telling you. Occasionally, you should also accept their direction, realizing they have insights you don’t. But at times, you’ve got to stand your ground, alone if need be, finding peace in knowing you’re right when everyone’s saying you’re not.
That’s a lonely place we don’t often visit. It’s also a necessary path to maturity.
I’ve walked it a few times, and last night while watching the new film Captain America: Civil War with my family, I was reminded of just how lonely a place of personal conviction can be.
In the movie, Captain America is pressured by world governments and his own super-hero peers to sign an agreement of compliance. His conscience forbids it; he declines. Others see his refusal as rogue, arrogant, even unreasonable. But in what I’d call the truest heroic form, he stands his ground gently and simply, choosing personal conviction over group approval.
Daily life requires daily decisions, most of which aren’t monumental but all of which make or break successful living. The role others play in those decisions can be vital, and the guys I’ve known over the years who’ve gone off the rails, in character or behavior, have to a man been the sort who wouldn’t listen to anyone.
So I take accountability seriously. I believe, as the author of Hebrews said, that if we live in isolation, apart from the healthy exhortation and feedback coming from relationships, we’ll kid ourselves into all kinds of nonsense. (Hebrews 3:13) I also take Paul at his word when he says we’re members of the same body, interdependent, neglecting at our own peril what other members have to offer us by way of insights, encouragement, rebuke, or empathy. (I Corinthians 12:12-27)
Separate me from the primary relationships in my life, and all the benefits they bring, and I’d be one sorry mess.
Solitary Confidence
Yet at times personal conviction has to override majority opinion, even if it springs from the most trusted allies, and God help us know the difference between one of those times and our own egotistical leanings.
I remember, for instance, one of the most traumatic experiences I had as a young Christian. A ministry opportunity had presented itself, and I had to decide which direction to go. An older believer in leadership told me God had revealed to him what I was supposed to do, and that I mustn’t defy his advice or I’d be literally defying God.
Problem was, what God allegedly told him I should do ran counter to what I was convinced I was being led to do, and it finally got down to a contest between what I thought God was speaking to me, versus what this older believer thought God was speaking to him. And I knew that if I went where I felt the Lord was guiding me, it would be seen by this man, and those who followed him, as a direct insult and challenge to his authority.
I was terrified. (Mind you, I was young spiritually and physically, a mere 17 years old.) The prophet said one thing; my convictions didn’t agree, and if I followed the his direction, I’d be ignoring what I really believed was God’s own direction to me.
Utterly bewildered, I decided to drive out to Calvary Chapel of Costa Mesa and run the whole situation past Chuck Smith, a man I had developed tremendous confidence in. His own church’s service was just ending, so I waited in line to speak with him.
He listened, smiled knowingly, and said, “This is nothing new. Having the gift of prophecy or discernment doesn’t make a man infallible. Go home and read this chapter – I Kings chapter 13 – and see what God has to say to you.”
An Intriguing Story, Not Often Discussed
It’s an obscure passage, one you may never have read. In it, a young unnamed prophet is sent to deliver a message to the King with a stern warning from God that he is not to stop in anyone’s home on the way to or from his mission.
An older prophet encounters him, invites him over for dinner, and the young prophet declines, stating that he’s been instructed by God not to stop in anyone’s home. To which the older prophet replies, “I’m also a prophet, and an angel told me to have you come into my home.” So the young prophet, taking the older man’s word and ignoring what God had spoken to him personally, accepted the offer.
For letting another man’s “thus saith the Lord” override his own convictions, he was eaten by a lion on his return trip.
Point taken. I called the man the next day, told him my decision, listened to his objections, then moved on. I’ve never regretted it.
Following personal conscience and/or what you truly feel to be God’s leading brings you to a peaceful, albeit lonely, place.
Obviously, it needs to be a leading that’s in line with scripture – I hardly think God will tell me one thing which contradicts what He’s already revealed in His word! But alignment with scripture and personal revelation can mean being out of alignment with the agendas and convictions of others.
The Servant – Not the Pleaser – of All
That’s because it’s impossible to engage relationally without someone at times wanting something from you, which is fine. Tensions rise, though, when following your conscience means saying “no” to another’s desires or expectations. That’s when you choose between the peace of mind coming from obedience, versus the comfort of approval coming from those you’d prefer to be on good terms with. And while I’m the first to admit I’d love making everyone happy, I know there’s no way to live with any sort of integrity if you’re forever keeping the peace.
Sometimes our decisions are met with applause; sometimes the “boos” come from all sides, hurting us and encouraging us to reconsider our ways, cave to general opinion, and make nice. But I like the way Paul put it: “If it be possible, as much as lieth within you, live peaceably with all.” (Romans 12:18)
That’s preferable, but not always possible. Life’s not too nice that way – it will, at times, force a choice. When it does, God grant each of us the courage to value His will, and our obedience to it, over the approval of man. One brings comfort; the other peace.
And – hint, hint – the One we follow is not called the Prince of Comfortable Living.